I was reading Larry Dobrow's Power Rankings the other day, which, by the way, I highly recommend, and I thought one of his commentaries was just classic.
The comments from Alex Rodriguez after he finally, inevitably, mercifully hit his 600th career dinger after a week's wait didn't fail to entertain. In keeping with his recent ego re-programming, he allowed only that he "was happy to get the win," "doesn't care about stats now that there's a ring on [his] finger" and "cares only about the team, team-related goals and team-building activities, including but not limited to team picnics and trust falls." For emphasis, he added, "Team team team team team team team team. Team." HAHAHA that is great. Not only is it funny, it makes a good point. Athletes have become so attached to such cleches that everyone knows they are completely meaningless. You can never tell these days when a player is sincerely grateful for his team or just saying it so he doesn't sound like a jerk.
What we need is some honesty. We need a player who isn't afraid to go out there and take the world because he is the best of the best. Remember Cassius Clay, now more prominently known as Muhammed Ali, saying "I am the greatest!" That's the most famous quote of all time. We need someone who is willing to take on the same personality and adapt it to modern culture.
Here's what I recommend: "I'd like to thank myself, for dreaming big and putting in the hours to develop all of my abilities. God had nothing to do with this body right here, these pecs and abs of steel were forged by yours truly from the day I evolved. I am the best that has ever lived, you can't stop me, you can only hope that I take mercy on your pitiful sole whenever you are unfortunate enough to face me. Go $*!# yourself America!"
Now that's what I'm talking about. An athlete with those kind of stones would be a real hit I think.... plus what else is Lebron gonna do to top "The Decision" :)